Here a snapshot of the happenings which occurred as I moved forward this past six months. My husband and I transformed our waiting room into a gallery. http://www.ululate.org/ We have had monthly showings since August 6th. State funds, though slashed, were not as severely cut as we thought and I was able to keep my teaching position at part time. I had a dream with vivid images of helping my mother give birth to myself. The birth was on a beach and I found myself walking freely along after the birth. This dream told me I am fully and directly responsible for my choices and the outcomes based on those choices. I performed with my dance group "Veils of The Wahadi" three times in the past six months. The group practices weekly and we make our own costumes, performing for fun. We had all of our five grandchildren home this summer, with both our daughters and their husbands joining. Very fun to have all of the children together! My garden has produced tomatoes, zucchini, peas, beans, cucumbers, garlic, onions, leeks, lots of beautiful flowers, and little grand children helping to grow and harvest. Such a blessing. We made jam with my mother, and then picked wild blackberries and made more jam for my daughters to take home!!

Autumn, fresh with rain, yellowing leaves, and warm wind, has arrived. I am grateful to my husband, for his enduring love, for the harvest our lives bring to each other, and for the collaborative endeavors we continue to accomplish here at Skagit Family Study Center. This autumn I am grateful for the continued blessings that the transitions of life endlessly bring.

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Our Beautiful baby grandson was born March 5th 2011, barely starting to enjoy the little one's smell and touch, breath and sounds. Sweet grand daughter, excited with the day and what comes from her joy of play. At breakfast with my lovely daughter, granddaughter, and baby grandson, a call to meet with the president of the college where I am full time faculty, needing to meet this morning, March 16, 2011. In meeting I was given notice that "due to short falls encountered by the State of Washington and the impending consequences of what is believed will be a significant reduction to Skagit Valley College's funding in the next biennium, I was provided with early notification that my position/contract will not be renewed for the 2011/12 year". This is my eleventh year at the college, third year full time. I taught 13 new courses in two years, because they laid off all of the adjunct faculty two years before in our department. I give all my heart and soul, loving the work, day and night. So now I loose my position so more adjunct can be hired again. This was an emotional shock. While there have been layoffs due to budget reductions, my department chair indicated our department was growing and there was no need for concern. I watched not only my husband cry as he held me, but my mother cried when I told her, as well, so very sad. They both understand this is more than eleven years; it is 35 years of dedicated work in the field of education, and children and family services, ending. I became physically sick for several days. I applied the emotional trauma work I teach often to others to myself. Then spring break came, now it's April and still recovering, yet moving out of and letting go of the shock, looking forward to the weeks ahead.

I search for jobs that I think would be of benefit to me. I work on redesigning my resume and qualifications to find work, in a world where there is none and searching the web for employment is grueling. I work on creating a new business card. Friends send emails with job openings they think I may be interested in. As I look ahead, I am grateful for the time spent consulting daily and hourly with my husband. Prayer by prayer, self time out by self time out, focusing not on the fear and anxiety, but on taking care of my feelings and needs, meditating, listening, receiving. Redefining my place in the world. Researching possibilities for opening a Montessori school, we discuss and make charts and visit building locations, and make more charts. I invite my daughter to come along and join my in the planning. I consider this plan because it inspires me. I taught a full day class on the Montessori Method two days after getting my layoff notice. An Early Childhood Conference hosted the class through the college. The daylong class was a wonderful success, the students told me so! Teachers from three different tribal communities were represented and many other programs and teachers of varying early childhood programs attended. I loved having a school years ago. Montessori was my first teacher; I raised my children on her philosophy and many, many others. She is my mentor. My first degree was in the Montessori Method. Since my work as a Montessori teacher, I have had many years more schooling and with an MA in Human Development and a license as a mental health, I have been teaching and counseling others for some time now. At this time in my life, today, right now, in the fight for right now, and for me, I become filled with feelings of joy. I think about how I will move back into my office, working in my private practice as a counselor and Reiki Practitioner, and along side my husband. Working together in the offices we built with the help of my father and brothers, some 12 yeas ago.

Peace of mind. I will begin a Women's Group… a women's healing circle that will give other women a space to be together to offer support for personal strength and courage. I am finding the strength within, emotionally and spiritually. My voice will not be shattered. What I built for myself will not be undone, broken or allowed to be torn down.

My beautiful grandchildren deserve no less. I need them, I need me, I deserve me!

Right now. One Woman's Walk, one step at a time.

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